“We know, with a sudden jarring clarity that if we don’t go right now, we’re never going to do it. And we’ll be haunted by our unrealized dreams and know that we have sinned against ourselves gravely.” - Tim Cahill
It’s a scary thing I’ve decided to do: to quit my job and leave my life behind for awhile and travel all around the country by myself in my little car. To have an uncertain future. But I know that uncertainty and the unknown isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I feel sometimes like I’m in a constant conflict with it: I can‘t decide whether change and the uneasiness that comes with it is something to avoid or something to strive for. But the fear of uncertainty in our lives can be so crippling, I’ve got to wonder if the real mistake is letting that conflict slip away and allowing predictability and comfort to outweigh any benefit in the unknown.
Above anything else, the real reason that I’ve decided to take this journey is that I’m terrified of not doing it. Waiting too long. Waiting until my opportunity has passed and I either can’t leave or no longer want to go. And that fear outweighs anything else. That is what’s letting me leave my nice little life behind for awhile, and let my plants die, in the hope that maybe things will be better on the other side of this. Or at the very least that I won’t have regret.